Beware!
Being aware is the closest you get to just be.
Nisandeh Neta
I don’t really want to do a freelance job.
Really? Is that true?
WHY?
“IS IT TRUE?” Is the most annoying, confronting and freeing question I know.
It strips away all lame excuses and stories I tell myself. It shows me what IS. Nothing else.
When I was building up this business I struggled to make enough money to pay my rent, and I thought of taking a freelance job.
If you ever followed
He didn’t judge- but forced me to look at it. Why would I, or not, take a freelance job?
Is it true? Do you NEED to take a freelance job?
The outcome came quickly. My kids came first. I wanted to build a HOME. To create a safe place for them. That was at that moment all that mattered. But I was blocked to just take the action by shame and guilt, because I felt I let you guys down, and would disappoint Nisandeh. And… disappoint myself, because it would mean that I would be a lousy entrepreneur.
The point is- all of that was true.
I did NOT find that it was OK to take a freelance job. It brought me the insight that I would disappoint you, Nisandeh and myself. But now I could choose to accept this, instead of telling myself that it was not so bad, that you wouldn’t read my blogs anyway, that nobody would bother, that Nisandeh would be ok with it and that I would one day start another, successful business – it’s all stories.
Being aware is just facing what is true… daring to look into the “dark” sides of your soul. The parts that you are ashamed of, that you’d rather hide from anyone, even yourself.
This is what “being aware” does. See what IS. Nothing else.
But… why would you want to be aware in the first place? What’s wrong with being unaware? I mean… you can enjoy life, enjoy what happens, you can be happy, healthy, anything while being unaware.
That’s true.
Being unaware is also a wonderful place- because you don’t have to THINK and you don’t have to be HONEST. You can tell yourself a story and accept it, and life is in order. You don’t have to be confronted with the parts of you that you don’t like.
To me- this is not enough.
Because being unaware may be comfortable, but there is nothing to learn there. How can I grow, when I can fool myself with a story?
Your stories, your excuses, cover who you are.
By being aware, you force yourself to be present and look honestly beyond your stories and excuses, to what there IS. Nothing else. What IS?
And what do you gain by being aware?
Let me warn you first before I tell you what’s in it for you.
THIS PROCESS IS NOT FUNNY. You can’t compare it to the games we played in the Open Circles
Then I know what’s going on in my mind, and I can let it go. The world is light again. Reaching that point is giving so much freedom! Because now I know what I can do to change the situation (usually nothing, and at that point I’m totally at peace with that).
So… it gives freedom. Lightness. Growth. Insight. Acceptance. Peace. But it all lies on the other side of the swamp.
I’m sorry… I can tell you only so little about what is in it for you, I can teach you to use the questions “Is it True” and “WHY”… but I can’t teach you more than that.
But- if you want to create more freedom in your life, then I would recommend you to play a game with us- the game of LIFE. It will help you to reach your goals in a fun way, helping you step by step, acknowledging you and pushing you a bit when you need it.
Is there an area in your life that you would love living with more awareness and clarity? Please SHARE in the comments box BELOW…Nisandeh will read each and every statement and respond whenever appropriate…
Live fully and be awesome…
Gerdy
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Oef again 😉 And só grateful for your reaction. The first thing that comes up into my mind is something that appeared in my life for about the last two years. I’m sure you know about The Law of Attraction. In Dutch there’s a saying that says: “Gedachten zijn Krachten”. Free translation and core-message in English: “Thoughts are mighty Energy. And you get and create what you think.” (you know) I think somehow I already believed this far befóre the present phase of my life. Only, ..not consciously. It wasn’t top of mind, very concrete. I’m grateful for the more specific message you gave me. On a next level. I knów somehow what you’re saying about “know start”. About “fresh perspective”. And anything that’s related to. In the same time, while working hárd for keeping that belief every day, while nobody has a clue (because I show up every day) …. It’s needed, I need it that people let me look into the mirror. Like you do. It let me grow ……. it let me continue to manifest the courage and strength I have and already showed so far. Thank you. (humble)
I feel I’m on a crossroad in life and career. Working for 12 years for myself as consultant/interim manager whereof the last 6 years as an associate of a small consulting firm. The setting/environment don’t bring me a lot of energy anymore.
Besides this, I started a new business with 3 other guys a few years ago. This ask’s a lot of my energy because it’s me on which it’s going on. So I decided to quit (still have to tell my partners!). But what’s next? Taking a job that gives me energy? Starting a new business? Working with/for a bigger consulting firm? I’m searching for more clarity. Where to start (going on) with my search?
Great question, Dirk-Jan.
And the right time/place to ask it.
I would start with identifying/finding out what are the 3 most important values you have (today) concerning your professional life.
Then make a list of your talents, skills, passions and cross-reference it with these 3 core values, and see what comes up.
Hope that helps.
Hug, Nisandeh
For me it al comes down to the question I have been asking myself since whenever: “Am I good enough?”
A question that keeps popping up when least expected. Lately, the question is there again. Working to provide for my family in a job that is just okay and thinking about teaching primary school and teaching other entrepreneurs. And there it is: Am I good enough?
Am I good enough to teach primary school (no degree though, so that is a challenge)?
Am I good enough to teach other entrepreneurs about writing?
Am I good enough to earn a certain amount of money?
Am I good enough to do….whatever.
Am I good enough to be happy?
There have been times in the last few years I wish I never met Nisandeh. Because he and his trainings made me so aware of all the possibilities in live. In times of struggle, thinking about all that, I sometimes wish I was unaware…
HOWEVER… every day I meet people, in that okay job, co-workers that are totally unaware. And I have to admit, that is pretty hard for me to see. To see other people, just living their life, just going through the motions of work and everyday life. Just being comfortable and not aware that they can have an impact on the world.
I would like to be more aware of my belief, thinking I am not good enough. Be aware of how to tackle this unsupportive thought.
This year I will turn 46 years old. Let’s say I still have 46 years to go. Then thinking I am not good enough is just not a thought worth thinking. Right? Live is to short to think crapy thoughts that withhold me from being who I am supposed to be: a teacher.
Yes, I want to be more aware of everything around me, everything that is influenced by my thought of not being good enough.
It’s quite a funny question you’re struggling with, Esther.
You’re not alone, by the way, many people struggle with the same question (or feeling), and I know if myself until I stopped asking it myself at the age of 25 or so…
The reason I call it a “funny question”, because it’s a question your ego keeps bombarding you in order to keep you small. Your ego is there to protect you… from hurt, disappointment, rejection, etc…
But when you quiet down, and notice that this little scared, squeaky voice belong to your fragile ego, all you have to tell it is, “thank you for sharing”, and keep going for what you were going for.
You’ll probably get hurt, disappointed and rejected here and there… but you’ll also could reach heights and depths you wouldn’t otherwise.
Life IS.
And it’s such an exciting adventure.
Say, “thank you for sharing”, and do your thing anyway.
Hug, Nisandeh
My emotions are an area I need more clarity and awareness on. I have no trouble doing the work, getting things done, forming healthy relationships, handling conflict, but letting my emotions in… No. That is not useful… Still, I think my life would be richer if I did. And it should not have to mean screaming and shouting and being angry (these emotions I displayed in the past, these I know, but because I don’t want them in anymore, there is little room for emotions period – other than happy and energetic – which are good, but they have their limits).
Hey Elske,
You’re writing that “letting your emotions in… is not useful.”
What exactly do you mean by letting your emotions in?
Emotion is Energy in Motion.
It is an energy that passes through your body, and if you won’t hold it or suppress it, it will simply flow through and out of your body.
And about “useful” this is your mind/ego talking.
If it appears in your life, than it serves a purpose.
What do you think that purpose (or purposes) could be?
Something to think about.
Hug, Nisandeh
“Useful” is definitely my mind/ego talking, should have put it in brackets to be more clear. I like the definition ‘energy in motion’. I will think about that purpose, thank you for the insight!
Thanks, Nisandeh, for sharing this insight. I love the concept of an emotion being Energy in Motion. It is exactly what I understand and feel now. If you simply acknowledge an emotion, thought or sensation without trying to analyze it, to judge it, to explain it or to fight against it, it passes and leaves you in peace.
I think, I have not walked the whole way. I mean, many times I already came to the point of asking myself ‘is it true?’ and always find a stupid story behind it that isn’t true at all. I even work it out for myself and KNOW that it’s my responsibility to change the story. Somehow, when it comes to the action, the real DOING, my mind gets clouded and I pull back… doing nothing, walking the old path… very frustrating! What will help me keep going through?
Great observation, Kathrin.
When your mind gets clouded, that’s a perfect time to do the “Truth Process”. Find out what’s going on in your mind… and ask yourself again, and again (and again)… “Is it true?”
Each time you look, you will go deeper and get more clarity.
If I were you, I would only take action when I can say, “this is true, for me, for now”.
Hope that helps.
Hug, Nisandeh
I have experienced various financial crises. When I was 16 years old, my parents’ company was almost bankrupt because they were scammed. Not only they but several companies were scammed and went bankrupt. We worked hard as a family and our employees also worked hard. We had a debt of 1 million at an interest rate of 11%, the bank gives you a higher interest rate if it is risk money. After 10 years we came out of the crisis and finally turned profit again. My father eventually died at a young age because of all the stress and misery we had experienced.
In the last global financial crisis I often woke up at night with fear and could not sleep until I learned to ask myself if my situation (financial crisis and therefore no sales and therefore no income) was my own fault; no. If I could change anything about it; no. If things would change and be better, yes.
With this method i could sleep better, rented out my house and had income again etc.
Several times I had to fight hard because people wanted to cheat me ore abuse me. All this has made me strong and I am therefore grateful for most things that have happened, it made me a better person.
At all those moments there is an inner strength, which get you through these situations, and the question of whether something is true and what can you do about it, is very liberating, I then experience moments of great freedom and peace.
Thank you for this magnificent blogpost Gerdy. Thinking about this comes at the right time and gives me a wonderful start this week !
Hey Rita….
Thank YOU, for sharing this very personal, and inspiring story. Big hug… Gerdy
Thank you Gerdy and a big hug in return !
Beautiful sharing, Rita.
All I want to add is that when you get to the bottom of “Is this true?”, you often have to do very little or nothing at all.
We’re often running around like a “chicken without a head”, because of false thoughts, beliefs, worries… but when we find our deeper truth, then usually there is peace and very little action is needed.
Hug, Nisandeh
Thank you for your further explanation Nisandeh.
I am currently working to find my fallacies, also very liberating 😀
I also always thought that a fact is a given fact but know now that it is only about how it is interpreted and that can be different for everyone. So the question of whether something is true is also different for everyone and very personal.
Hug, Rita
Certainly after been rock bottom literally, I’m getting to be convinced more and every time a bit stronger that everything is possible. By being “at the lowest level, my awareness started to grow to a higher level”. It’s a process that I keep reminding myself of, in everything that I’m doing during the whole day, no matter what I am busy with. Yeah, it’s painful. Confronting. But hey …I’m still standing. I’m alive. I can achieve anything I want. ….and I’m exercising every day 🙂
Here’s a confronting question, Franklin.
You’re starting your sharing with, “after hitting rock bottom literally”… is this true?
It probably just in your mind…
When you start the “Truth Process” on this assumption… you can go a lot further…
Hug, Nisandeh
Oef yeah dear Nisandeh, it can be confronting. And at the same time, I need those questions. They bring me to my biggest potential. So I dééply thank you. One: yes, I was literally rock bottom: I became homeless and was living in the street, lost everything that I loved and possessed and what was safe and known. Two: In the same time, reading your comment, I think that you might mean a deeper layer, “what is the truth”. Truth is what you choose for to think what’s real. Am I right? My unimaginable situations ánd achievements are a fáct. But it’s not per definition “The Truth”. Is that what ya mean? Franklin. Gráteful for your respond
Yes, Franklin.
You’re in the right direction.
Your conditions might be a fact, but your responds to these conditions is all based your interpretation.
Choose to see these circumcetances as “rock bottom” and they’ll be that.
Choose to see them as an opportunity to start again, with fresh perspective… and that’s what they’ll become.
Hug, Nisandeh