I broke over 3,600 promises this year
In life, we get 2 types of lessons: lessons to learn and lessons to teach. Most people miss both. Don’t be like most people!
At the beginning of the year, when I decided that this will be my last year as a teacher, a trainer and a coach… the last year to share my knowledge and experience – I made a promise to myself, that I will write and publish a book sharing the most important lessons I learned in life – how to live life by design.
It’s 9 months into the year, and I didn’t keep my promise.
It’s not that I didn’t try.
I actually wrote 3 different books. From 3 different angles. With 3 different approaches. All about living life by design.
And I killed them all and buried them… deep in the dark mess of my hard drive…
It’s not that the content wasn’t valuable – it was just not “me” anymore… it was the “me” that I was, and that “me” is gone, and is never coming back…
So I broke a promise to the me that is no longer there… no big deal, right?
The new me could live perfectly happy with it…
But I made the same promise to someone else…
To 3,627 someones, to be exact…
3,627 students, blog readers and strangers who generously offered input for the book, and I promised, in return, to send them the book as my ‘thank you’.
And for months now, these 3,627 broken promises were a constant reminder: “it’s OK to start a new life, but I’ve got to complete what I started”.
But how…? Nothing from the past fits anymore…
Last week… the missing piece of the puzzle fell into place… and the book is on track again (for the fourth time). It’s going to be different than any book I’ve written before, and I believe it can transform the life of anyone who will DO the book, instead of reading it.
So, if you’re one of the 3,626 who contributed input for the book – I am deeply and sincerely sorry for the delay.
The book is progressing and – if the gods of creativity, graphic design and Eastern-European printing facilities will be with us – the book will be ready to be shipped to you at the end of December or beginning of January.
For the rest, you can still contribute to the book, as I am still missing some important input…
I want to include in the book 52 life lessons, that will empower, inspire and motivate the readers to live a happy, healthy, wealthy and wise life…
For example… here are 3 of the life lessons I learned in my 49 years on this planet, which I believe can support others too:
- I worked hard all my life to achieve what I believed would make me happy. Only after I achieved them all, I realized that what made me truly happy was already in my life from the beginning…
- I was searching for the meaning of life for more than 30 years. And when I finally found it… it contained only 2 words: LIFE IS. Everything else is just a story…
- Every moment in life we’re facing one simple choice – happiness or suffering. There are no other options, and we must choose. When we accept life as it is in the moment – we choose for happiness, when we resist life as it is – we choose suffering.
I would love to learn from you
What are some of the lessons you’ve learned in your own life? The lessons you’d love to share with your loved ones and the rest of the world…
Please share your life lesson(s) in the comment box below (one lesson per comment)
‘Thank you’ gift
When I choose your life lesson to be one of the 52 lessons included in the new book, I will send you a signed copy of the hardcover book as my ‘thank you’ gift.
Can’t wait to read your life lesson(s).
And until we meet…
Live fully, be awesome,
Nisandeh Neta
PS. In last week’s blog post I promised to send one or more commentators the recording of the Neurobics session from the Be Happy & Healthy workshop…
In line with keeping my promises, here are the 3 happy ‘winners’: Heleen Janssen – van Lente, Marcella de Bruin and Herman van de Kuit.
My biggest lesson of all is: when bad stuff happens to you, no matter how bad, you can chose one of two things: to cry about it or to laugh about it. Chose to laugh about it and you will be lifted out of suffering. It is the fast track to enlightenment.
It works. Every time, really.
Try it and you will be amazed.
A few lessons that come to mind:
– If you don’t like (an aspect of) your life, it is up to you to change it.
– The only way to live is to take 100% responsibility for the things you are responsible for and to take 0% responsibility for the things you don’t have any control over.
– Surround yourself with the kind of people you would like to become. You become more like the people you hang out with most. This includes saying goodbye to people in your life who are holding you back.
– Knowledge shared = knowledge squared. If you learn something valuable, share it with the people that are open for this information.
– Be aware when your auto-pilot is controlling you in a direction you don’t want to go. Then you need to take the courageous step in getting the control back. Master your habits to create the life you want to live.
An empty agenda means space for the unexpected: a guest, a nice hour of reading, smalltalk with the little girl next door, creative thinking, doing little thing in the garden, cooking a nice meal. All these things make me more happy than being busy doing what I decided to do today weeks ago.
Lesson 1: I can start again and again. In old fashioned games (like mens-erger-je-niet or ganzenbord) ‘go back to start’ is meant as a punishment. If I look at my life as a game I try to learn that going back to start is something positive (new opportunity, new experience). At the same hand there where many times that it – at least at first – didnot feel that way. For example when I got fired, my ex-partner left me. And the biggest challenge of all, because it’s challenging on and on: when I get stuck in my own thoughts. Like ” this is not working > I failed > failure is bad”. To know when I’m thinking myself into trouble is what the game of life is about. And to feel and accept the pain ot my thoughts and at the same time laugh about it. Because then I can go back with an open mind: back to start.
Some of my live lessons are:
1. Never look back – the past is the past – whatever choice you made is ok, do not have regrets – make better choices in the future.
2. Make more time for fun and happy things, or bucket list.
3. Never ever give up -If large steps are not possible – take small ones and be proud of every step.
4. Problem or crisis is an opportunity/challenge to grow – start brainstorming for solutions.
5. Keep promises always.
6. Keep on learning.
7. Never take the easy path – take the challenging path so you happy on more levels.
8. BisKaizen – keep on improving yourself – super skills.
9. Write a book or 5.
10. Learn to be happy with less – keep on decluttering – buy what you really need.
11. Work smarter not harder.
etc.
I forgot a few my husband told me:
1. Treat everybody the way you want to be treated.
2. I am too nice, too understanding – accept too much – that served me well in the past but this will change.
Just ONE insight/lesson in one comment is what Nisandeh asked for, not more!
My biggest lessons in the past few years are: Critics from others, they do say everything about the other, it doesn’t say anything about me. And life is learning, developing myself, trusting my gutt-feeling and trying new things outside my comfort-zone. That’s where the growth and the fun is.
I discovered the blessing of “start-through”. After a discussion, quarrel, disagreement, argument… just start all new with someone.
No forgiving. No forgetting. Just start all fresh. Just move on together.
Don’t waste time.
Life is now. Love now.
My biggest lesson is first love myself and accept myself exactly as I am.
Good luck with all the beautiful things you do Nisandeh!
Don’t forget to play!
Ask yourself the following on a regular basis:
Do I want to do what I do now?
Do I want to be where I am now?
Do I want to be with the people that are around me now?
If you can answer Yes to these questions, go for it and think positive! For everything is a solution!
My biggest lesson was to accept myself who I am with everything that happened in my life. From that point I could see that I created everything in my life myself. That all the things that happened, were my own creations to learn lessons. Taking responsibility for that was the real start of growth and change in my life and to feel real love for myself and everybody around me, regardless who or what somebody is, is doing or has done. I could forgive myself, my rapers, abusers, ex-husband and everybody who has done harm to me. It was the moment my new life began, a life that I could accept and love, whatever happened, good and bad. I am the creator of my life and it is up to me to make that life beautiful and great with happiness, being healthy, wealthy and wise.
A lesson I learned is that not everything can be controled. Somethimes it’s out of your hands.
Find the trust to live your life in the “present”, by simply doing en enjoying what comes up in your mind/heart without any judgement. Important as well, accept when you can’t.
My life lesson is clarification of expectations. I don’t assume people understand what I want, expect or need, I share it so people can choose to give it to me. It works also the other way around I ask what the other person expects, needs or wants so I can choose. This brings a lot of peace and avoids disappointments.
Every person is responsible voor their own choices, however you have to learn to accept the consequence. This can give you uncomfortable or scared feelings, but at the end it will give you freedom!
My life lesson is that guilt, shame, and low self-esteem are casting a shadow on who I really am. I grew up in a family that I was abused and humiliated by my mom. It caused my low self-esteem and I thought that I was such a shame to live in this world. I did things to humiliate myself in the public to proof this self-prophecy that I don’t serve respect. There were two parts of me fighting inside of myself that one part is telling me that I worth nothing and the other part is trying to avoid the pain caused by the feeling of shame and guilt by numbing myself or sabotaging myself. This kind of conflicts has followed me for many years until I started my healing journey. Now I realize that holding on to the shame, guilt, and low-esteem is opposite to who I really am. I am a masterpiece regardless what experience I had, am having and going to have. My true self doesn’t exist in other people’s words. My true self exists when I love myself unconditionally. This valuable lesson I learned not only helps me find my self-confidence back but also allows me to help other people to be their greatest selves.
Dear Nisandeh, I can fully concur with what you say in these three life lessons. However, what I learned as well is that it is easier to make a choice when you have a goal, destination or purpose in life. What I noticed is that people with a conscious purpose have a destination and a compass to steer on. When they persevere, they will get there in one or another way. But be aware of the fact that when your reach your destination, a new destination awaits you and it is best to anticipate and pick that destination yourself.
Because, what I also experienced is that people without such destination and compass easily get of track and into trouble, because when you don’t choose your own personal destination, life will do it for you and the chances are very high that you won’t like what life has given you. Although, it is always possible to embrace this new destination and still get the best out of it when you make it your own. As I suppose you are doing right now.
Life is supposed to be fun, full of abundance, joy and happiness. It is my birth right, instead of keeping me from having all of this I can just allow to receive by being in alignment with who I am :D.
When I look how things are happening to the world and how people live, I feel deeply ashamed. Unfortunate I can not change the world and the people who are not taking the world serious.
Once I’ve seen a video of amazing people, just by helping helpless people or animals.
At that point I decided, that if we want a better world for our children and grandchildren, everybody should do something smalls. Just to see what a small difference the world can change.
My key for this should be : Try to be the change in the world, what you might want to change.
because every little help can make the difference.
The best way to solve a problem is stop calling it a problem.
Nothing is certain, not even this.
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.
Count your blessings!
* Thank you for your work Nisandeh. It is awesome!
Stop setting goals. You are there already. Make an intention every day or no intention. No intention is an intention too. Everything is fine. That can be your work, you own life or your family. Don’t forget to sit weekly for several hours on a bench in a park or wherever, and watch children playing, people passing by, enjoy small talk with a stranger, or an intensive talk about life. All this is within one hour or 100 meters of your own life and place.
Nisandeh,
I was already wondering when the book would be in my mailbox… Now I understand.
My lesson is that everything is (inter)connected. Be careful what you do or don’t do. Garbage is never away…
Greetings.
My life motto is:
1) Everything happens for a reason (even if you don’t see it / don’t like it now)
2) Don’t worry; in the end, it will turn out different anyway
Live for giving, not for getting. Giving will make you more wealthy in the end.
In everything you do, make a connection between your belly, heart and head.
Life lesson 1: participate
Life lesson 2: dare to ask
Life lesson 3: give what you like to receive
Life lesson 4: reflect for a moment and return to lesson 1.
In the end: there is a whole lot more that you don’t know and never will know because you aren’t told. Be happy with that or leave your comfort zone and . . . go to lesson 1.
The Essentials of Happiness: Something to DO, Something to LOVE and Something to HOPE FOR (the lessons I learned during my burnout)
‘ you don’t have to be perfect in everything, its ok to be human and more important: its important to be yourself ‘
They say standing still is retrogression. The moment I did stand still I learned I can run without any progression. Nowadays I stand still a lot and am more in progress than ever before. ♥
My biggest lesson in life is that no matter what you don’t have, focus on the things you DO have. It sounds like a little change but the room in your head, mind and body you create is enormous (at least for me it is). Please focus on what IS instead of what is not. I love the way you are, you work with connection to your SELF and what IS… thanks for that 🙂
Dear Nisandeh,
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life is that you make your own reality. It’s all about how you look at things. When you change the way you look at something, everything changes. It’s just a choice you make.
It sounds easy, but it took a long time for me to learn and really understand what it meant.
So in the end, happiness is a choice and it’s yours to make. Choose to be happy 🙂
My life lesson is to look for my own part in a situation. Regardless if that situation is private or business.
The reason I always search for my own part is that I only can change my own part in any situation.
Happiness in life is not about reaching your goals but enjoying the journey towards your goals
It is not about ‘having’ but about ‘experiencing’
Ask questions instead of giving answers.
Enjoying life requires an open mind. And Frank Zappa expressed this at best: “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.”
Live your own life and not other’s. Or stay in your own business.
You never lose. You either win or you learn….
If you wanna know what your purpose is in life, find those things you have done which made you enthousiast, which gave you more life and energy. If you then focus on those things, you´ll become happy again. Remerber that happiness is the result of working towards a valuable purpose and knowing you´ll be able to achieve what you had in mind.
Happiness is an inside job.
I learned two years ago that by everything I wanted, I said no to myself. And when I accept the situation/me/my situation as it is, I say yes to myself.
Now that I write it in words, it is too small. The feeling has a much deeper layer
Dear Nisandeh,
My lesson for life is relations.
Invest in people, build bridges.
By investing in people, you will never be alone. Those people have relations too.
So…. networking is key.
I learned that sometimes is easier to complain and do nothing then actually do something that changes the situation. Only if you say – I will do first and I really will give the best shot and then will see if I will be successful. In fact, I should say “I will see how successful I can be while doing what I planned, dreamed to do and do does first steps”. So learning from life – do first, leave the complaints after (or never :))
Thinking without action will never get you a result.
If you take action, the worst thing that can happen is that you learn a lesson you will probably never forget 😉
I learnt my life lesson when I was disabled because of a pelvis instability (symfysiolyse). I could not walk for a long time and I was in a wheel chair. I had a lot of pain and a lack of energy for years. I learnt to focus on what I stil was capable to. I discovered my possibilities . I took care for my energy balance. My efforts helped me to stand the pain. It made me a nicer patient, mother and spouse. So don’t become a victim and don’t become angry or frustrated. Don’t ask “why me “? Look for possibilities, chances and stay nice to all the people. Take care Petra
In Jamaica they say: Don’t think in problems just in situations. Thinking in situations that you can change is more positive than thinking in problems.
Take NO action from a place of distress.
Give without expecting. Alone you might be quicker together you go further.
Participate and Enjoy life, before it’s too late.
My life lesson: always when I’m sure my thoughts were right, it turned out not to be true. So, don’t be stubborn in thinking you’re the one who knows what is right or has the truth in mind.
I don’t think there is a nicest lesson or such think. Every day comes with a lesson to learn or to teach. I would like to advise everybody to stop searching for what ever in life. Realise that all we do is one big creation of which you can be very proud.
When my goal is clear , disappointments where only guide posts to get there as long as I kept going.
My lesson in life is to live life from within. You are the master and creator and stay close to your inner voice . Be aware of what your mind tells you , the story teller in your head is most of the time not yours. Be aware and live a conscious life and see what works for you.What works for others may not work for you, so go your way, your authentic way. Life is a big adventure. Go through it as a curious child. Listen open to others but make your own choice.See everything in life is a mirror to you,it gives you the opportunity to grow. Be grateful and be open for the magic signs life gives you .
My life lesson is ‘you are and you get what you think’, so be aware of your thinking! If things are getting tough somehow, be assured that there is always a solution, no matter what, learn your lessons and get up again. The universe holds your back.
My biggest lessons? I’ll keep it to the main 10 lessons of 2017:)
1. Shut up and listen. To others, and more important… to myself.
2. My gut feeling is always right.
3. Shitty energy, shitty results.
4. Focus on what matters.
5. Whether you believe you can, or you can’t, you are right.
6. Everything that you learn is applicable in other areas of life.
7. Be outrageous.
8. You are awesome – No, you don’t have to be better. You are already a masterpiece. Stop trying to become better and start to enjoy who you are.
9. Magic happens outside your comfort zone
10. PLAY. The child inside you is the closest to your real you – playful, full of trust, vulnerable, open, enjoying every second and hiding nothing.
My biggest, latest lesson… I love this one so much…Anything is possible: I can FLY….
My biggest lesson in life is: whatever I want to undertake, in which field what so ever, if I want it to be valuable for others and for myself, I will always go on a little quest I call for myself : “THE BIG WHY”. Every time I achieve something, either Health, Happiness or Business, I am in touch and very connected with my own “BIG WHY”. Each time I want to start something new, what ever it is, I ask myself “Why?”. For that matter I use an old Japanese process of ‘5-times Why’. After the first answer to myself, I’ll ask myself again “Why?” and so on. Until I feel it in my gut what the real “Why is”. Well Nisandeh, something like that…
My life-motto has always been: everything happens for a reason. And this reason can only be discovered looking backwards, connecting the dots. The outcome is ALWAYS in your favor, even if you cannot recognize it yet. There are SO MANY blessings in diguise happening, and when you start focussing on that, it makes you less attached to the outcome of your actions (or inactions).
You can surrender to the process called life and be supprised by how many wonderful things than start happening.
This has helped me through my darkest times, and makes me so much softer and lighter, even when “bad” things seem to happen.
Like a break-up from the love of my life, which recently happened to me.
After 24 years together (highschool-sweethearts) we were soulmates. But living together didn’t work anymore and held us captive in old patterns. I think we are having the most loving break-up there can be and that only happens when you know from your inner wisdom that it is best for you both. Trust this wisdom and it quickly softens the pain and suffering. As you look at it from a higher perspective, it makes sense and all of a sudden so many new opportunity’s and life-energy is becoming available. Even a new type of relationship with my ex, living apart and with no expectations, might bring us closer together than before. Letting go means letting go of the old, making space for the new, the upgrade, the next level.
Quote from Lao Tzu:
A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.
I will add to this: But when you quit taking steps, you are getting nowhere.
Step, fall, learn, get up, step again
Dear human beings,
My best lesson that i love to give to you is….
” One has many wishes until one gets sick…then one has only 1 WISH……..
Be thankful for your health and if you are sick….i wish you love and strength. I send you a kiss on your heart. May you accept being sick…and still stay “happy” in your own special way. Love, Leslie de Jong
My biggest lesson (work in progress:-))
Get rid of people, situations, life-style, foods, drinks and habits that are not healthy for me and take me down. It`s not selfish or egocentric, it is becoming really good friends with myself, practicing good self-care (like the old philosophers said and did) and beying loyal to myself till death parts me. Easy? Hell no! Breaking patterns of any kind is never easy. But is it going to be worth it? I trust so. At the very least i`m doing some serious neurobics:-)
Some of my biggest life lessons are:
1. Manage your inner voice;
2. Contribute by becomming a prosumer instead of a consumer;
3. Treasure your relationships, also the one with yourself;
4. Be happy in the moment.
Great lesson for book 4 … enjoy writing 🙂
Like William Shakespeare wrote:
And as imagination bodies forth
The forms of things unknown, the poet’s pen
Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name
Live in the now, be who you really are and let others be who they are.
I was afraid of reactions of others.. I was less than others.. I was thinking for others .. Because of my childhood.
What happened in the past is the past, important is who you handle and live in the Now.
Don’t live in the past or to much in the future and create your own life !
This moment is important !
It’s simple…. Enjoy!
This lesson changed my life and the life of all my clients: keep your values alive and follow them always because they keep you on the path of happiness and success, no matter what happens.
Only think and talk for yourself. Less complications, stress and waste of energy.
The most important thing I learned is…..it doesn’t matter.
We all make mistakes, we all forget something, we all loose or win sometimes, we all makes promises we can’t keep sometimes, we all say stupid things sometimes ( or perhaps allways 😉 ), we all just don’t get it sometimes, we all do …..
Don’t bang your head against the wall, don’t blaim yourselves or someone else.
Just understand we all do, sometimes or perhaps always.
Not on purpes, but just because……..( fill in )……
So, just hop on with your life!
If you feel that a certain path has come to end, than stop trying to follow a path that is no longer there anymore. Instead let the old path go. With thrust.
Between the old and the new path, there might not be any bridge to walk. Many times between the old and the new path there seems pure emptyness. It might scare you and it might make you wonder if you did the right thing. Have thrust and realize that looking back over your shoulder, trying to see the old path that is no longer there, will only prevent you from seeing the new path unfolding itself before you.
The only way to be truly fulfilled is to find the meaning of life and the purpose for which you were created.
Shadow only can exist if there is light on the other site. Every obstacle is a step closer to the light.
My nr. 1 lesson would be: Live from the heart, not from the head.
Your heart knows exactly how you can live your best life, you only have to listen…
Everything will pass. The good things will pass. So try not to to cling to them, but enjoy while they last. Bad or painful things will pass. So just wait and don’t resist: they will go away eventually.
To let go of clinging and resistance is the end of suffering.
So true and so difficult also! Thanks for sharing!
So true Petra and so difficult also! Thanks for sharing!
Be Aware, Integer and Brave. That for me were the most importent ingredients of feeling happy and peaceful.
If you be aware of your mind, body and soul in every situation or relation and you dare to be integer to your mind, body and soul needs you cannot loose.
You can learn, yes, you can, because life is not supposed to be heaven or hell alone. If you be aware you will see your lessons everywhere! You see your growth and you see your purpose.
Hi, one of the most important lesson I have learned is: to be in the here and now. After the last workshop with Roy I was experience a quantum jumps. I’ve experienced twice a jump myself but it has a meaning for the here and now. When I do it on my own command it has an negative impact on me. That was a very important lesson for me.
Life-lesson 2: That not everybody can have a happy life for reasons but spiritual growth is for everybody possible and give you the happiness and oneness. Accept what is, let go what was, have faith in what will come to you, live here and now cheerfully. I can! So do you!
My lesson is: whenever I get in conflict before I react, I remember the sentence “Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you ” and with this state of mind most of the conflict don’t get out of control…
E=MC2 Meaning: Energy is Meditation X Care for the Love of Self X Care&Contribute for the Love of the World. I AM that I AM, The Way it is Just is, I AM That. No form, No structure, No attachment, Observing the Observer merging & blending into the Unity of it All. The normal rational processes of the human mind cannot ever attain objectivity unless there is 100% full brain capacity.(movie Lucy). Reason is by its own nature, the subjective observation of the universe by one of its parts – the human mind – and the mystical experience of unity is the elevation of human consciousness to objective observation. This objectivity is attained by the unity a blending a merger of the individual consciousness with the universal, which is the ultimate cause and, therefore can be truly objective. The universal consciousness objectifies the universe. Let me write a book with you and we’ll make this happen. Franco A. Landsman.
My most important lesson: Time is the most important thing we got. Not money, not other people. If you do not use your money or your relationships, they will still be there tomorrow. The time you do not use is gone. Forever. And there is only a limited amount of time given to any of us. To live happy, we must choose wisely how we use our time.
– We are our choices (Nous sommes nos choix, JP Sartre), I see this quote as taking ownership of everything, and that is a very important lesson I learned.
– Never take anything or anyone for granted.
– There is always a solution.
– Get in line and stay in line.
– and just yesterday (which might seem contrary, but is not I think): when do you know when to quit: if you knew at the start what you know now, would you start?
– It is the little things that make life worth living.
– Communicate! (This involves a lot of listening.)
– I can do and achieve anything I set my mind to.
– Daring is fun.
– Meditate.
I found out that opening yourself is the key to everything. Getting rid of your conditioning and pattern of the past. It’s hard work to open up, and it will ask non-stop effort, but slowly you see results and these are fabulous.
It is one of the keys for “make-it-work” in life.
It is never too late to change your life, as age is just a number. Choose for a life you want to live yourself instead of living a life others expect of you.
I had to learn Some hard lessons.
I lost a friendship. I nearly lost the only coach that helped me generate money.
And I lost a lot of money.
Lessons:
Pride
Ego
What I’ve learned was that if I would really let go of fear and having to prove myself
and start doing what I really love, everything I was trying to get would come naturally.
The biggest lesson ever:
My Outer game is a result of my inner game. So everything is changing because of that.
I have my coach back and we are better than ever.
my life lesson is to relax. I am an achiever, have always worked very hard, first in a career, then to become free . Now I am just doing nothing, letting life happen as it comes. For over a year, I am hardly doing any spiritual work, I am watching a lot of tv, stupid series, like “help mijn man is een klusser”, hihi and love it . I literally stopped doing. It was hard at the beginning, but now I feel so much at ease and in tune with who I am.
Since I stopped longing and working for it, Ideas and visions now come spontaneously, it feels like life is falling into my lap ….
Feel, acknowledge and give space to your feelings
My life lessons are:
Life is uncertain and just BEING with that uncertainty is the key to HAPPINESS.
Light, love and joy are the essence of human life.
Keep your face towards the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.
Don’t ask, the answer is allready in you.
I admire your honesty Nisandeh, what you share is so recognizable. In life we grow and go forward. Writing about the past does not suite anymore. It is all about the NOW and, hopefully, the joyful times to come. So the other thing I learned in life is: what happens in this moment is just the right thing to happen. Nothing else. I wish you a wonderful and colourful day, Jacqueline van Tol
Remember that the world will also turn without you. Enjoy your time and enjoy and enjoy and enjoy………LIVE your life
My most important life lesson is to be alert for sudden opportunities on your path and grab these to experiment with them to find out how you and the society can benefit.
Just do it!
I repeat this sentence like a daily mantra. Result: no doubt – only actions toward my goals!
The biggest pains turn out to be the greatest lessons if you are ready to learn.
Every life starts in infancy. It is our early socialisation that neurologically and anatomically builds our personality and our health. That means that we need to cherish our babies: the way we treat them, they will treat the world (see the work of Pam Leo and Robin Grille). Children follow what we do, not what we say, so as adults we have a big responsibility to be compassionate towards their basic mammalian and biosocial needs. As Frederick Douglass, 19th century abolitionist, author and statesman, said: ‘It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.’ That is my motto in all my work for babies and their parents!
For me it is definitely changing your thoughts changing your destiny based on the law of attraction. We only create what we think we want.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly ( Mark Twain). Live well, laugh often and love always. When you are able to give you will receive.
Cleaning up broken promises is a great way to happiness. Also cleaning up actions that were not completed in the past. Sometimes this just means apologizing, sometimes there is more to be done.
But for me it is always the first step to say: this is what I did, or this is what I promised and did not do that is the hardest. People are always wonderful. They accept, forgive or did already forget about it, or did not even notice, But it was on my shoulders all the time, taking away my energy.
So congratulations with this brave action, Nisandeh.
Thanks for that.
Dear Nisandeh,
Two major things I learned in life and that shaped my life for the better:
My first wife died of breast cancer when she was 36. We had three young children. I can still vividly remember the day after she had her first operation in hospital and I drove home. It suddenly and heavily dawned on me that I had lost so much and the enormous regret that I felt was not about what I lost. It was about the fact that I did not enjoy it fully when I had it.
You only know what you miss when it is gone.
So enjoy what you have while it is there!
The second big lesson is that like most people I wanted to have control of my life. That is also the idea of what many preach. The need to control brings a lot of stress, especially when things donot go the way you want it. This led to disillusion, self doubt, and thoughts like I am not good enough.
But I found out that control is the ultimate illusion. You do not control anything. You don’t know when you wake up or fall asleep, you do not control when you need to go to the bathroom. You do not even know what you will be doing or thinking one minute from know. You could be dead..So let go of this illusion.
That set me free. Now I can enjoy every moment as it is and deal with what happens as it is. Life unfolds perfectly and nothing, not even you can do anything about it.
Control is the illusion.
Everything is perfect.
You are the best You there can be in the universe right now!
Relax and enjoy Life.
Nisandeh, Good luck with your book. It can’t go wrong. It is perfect as it is!
Look forward in opportunities and options. The choice is yours!
In intimacy issues distance is your friend.
If you want it to much, you will not have it.
In pushing to hard, you force the other to resist.
Freedom is what makes the other party, if they love you, come and be with you.
Only if I come first to myself, acknowledging my true desire, voicing that and then let go, is there any chance of real connection.
‘An asked kiss is no kiss at all’
Life is a mindset.
My lesson as a teacher is that one can not say that he is not responsible for the actions of others knowing his power of influence over them.
A person who is aware that he has an influence on his surroundings must accept responsibility for the consequences of his influence. Especially if he knows that his influence prevents action that harms others.
No one is released from responsibility for the consequences of his actions, even if they are indirect ind.
A teacher who preaches immoral behavior that causes harm to the student and to his environment can not be mistaken for lack of guilt just because he himself did not do the immoral act.
A student inspired by his teacher in a harmful and immoral manner is not innocent, but the teacher is also responsible for the messages he conveys.
In some cultures there is the concept of karma, which means cause and effect.
It is impossible to avoid the karma. Any direct or indirect injury results in a reaction and punishment.
Ignore the naysayers trust yourself and focus focus focus.
Beautiful question!
I try to make all kind of connections. With myself, (listen carefully what are my thougts, how does my body feel). With other people (listen to what they want to say and be empathic) and connect people with other people, when i think it can help them. I also feel connected with plants, animals, our planet. Actually I do what I think is good. Make a positive change. Make my life interesting. I think positive. I’m happy and I feel rich.
Shit happens to each and every one of us. If you find the lesson in it, you will tranform shit into gold dust.
We are not the situations that came upon our paths, we are what we have done with it. What was dark and tough can be transformed into something full of colors and love.
SHIT MAKES U GROW!
As a gardendesigner I often tel my clients to put manure on the soil to make plant grow.
So does the shit in your life. Look carefully at it, why it hurts you and treat it as little gifts in life to devellop yourself!
“Remember death”.
We neither know when our time is due nor that of those we care for.
When self-righteousness, pride, principles, habits, stress and the like, kick in, it’s easier (so tempting) to forget. But it is exactly then that it is the surest, quickest cure for all these.
It’s the toughest, most beneficial and demanding lesson I had in my life so far. I grew bigger than what I thought was possible through it and I failed it miserably.
I have it with me for many years as an alert light that signs, I should stop when I lose track of what’s important in being alive.
Being honest, just being really honest is so powerful, refreshing, freeing up attention…it is highly recommended.
Everything will be alright, always.
Since 2008 me and my partner were in a constant flow of money trouble. Every month was a surprise wether there would be enough in our bankaccount.
The first years, it was not on our minds so much. But, in 2012 things turned for the worse. We made some realy bad financial decisions. There were times we said to each other, “this is it”, now everything will fall to pieces, no money, not able to pay the mortgage, no house, no food…And, believe it or not, everytime something came up that provide us everything we needed. Money wise, food wise… always. There was not a single time that this wasn’t true.
We had a tax return in our favor, family would lend us money, late payments from former clients would finally get in, new clients would seem to appear out of thin air.
After all those experiences we dare to trust the proces. Even this year: A four month project that helped us through the spring, a tax return that helped us span a couple of months, a new client.
No, I do not wish to spend my entire life like this. But, this has taught me that the universe will always send a solution your way. The only thing you have to do is reach out and grab it.
No, that doesn’t mean I hide from the truth and waited for things to go better. I took responsibility for my own life and worked to show the universe I meant business.
And the money is not important for my happiness. It is important for my livelyhood.
My family was and is important for my happiness. They are healthy, thriving, loved. Everything else is complementary.
A simple flowchart changed my life. In words it say this.
“Ask yourself these questions.
Do you have a problem -> Yes -> do you have a solution -> Yes -> Why worry?
Do you have a problem -> Yes -> do you have a solution -> No -> Why worry?
Do you have a problem -> No -> why worry?”
Trust the process, in the end everything will be alright, always.
We have got something precious right under our nose.
It’s available any time and it is for free.. It’s called: “Laughter”..
When we laugh we become happy. We don’t need a reason to laugh.
We can laugh for no reason at all.
laughter Yoga can teach us how to do this Ha Ha Ha….. 🙂
Appreciating just who I am is the greatest gift to others. It is really me and it opens the door for them to be who they really are. And it is just fun for me and the other too.
Life lessons:
1) Balance yourself with Honesty, Empathy and your own Inner Values. You will receive love, happiness and help, in quantities you would not believe.
2) While being happy with “today”, working on a better “tomorrow” is what life makes fun!
My life lesson:
Do what ever it takes to live your life fully. No matter if you want to achieve goals or not, just live your life fully every minute.
I’ve found that to excel in life and enjoy life (which is a firm combination, these two), I have to work in a duo. Trust one person fully, no need for protection of your back, open dialogue, always aiming for win-win and more.
The life lesson is: figure out in which context you excel in life and enjoy life (by trial and error will do just fine). Then, look for that context or work you ass off creating it. Step into this context and excel in life and enjoy life. To make this work it needs just one firm choice from you: do not mind, don’t care, what your optimum context is. So, if you want to be a famous soloist, but your optimum context is a duo: drop wanting to be a soloist and want to be in a duo. Because, even if you manage to become one astounding soloist, it will not fulfill you in the end.
My life lesson is: quitting is not an option! Over the years I’ve learned that my goals are important to me. I’ve broke a lot of my own goals. Not anymore! If I set a goal now I will follow it through to the end, else I will not set that goal (than it is not that important to me). I tweak the goal if necessary but never again quite on it.
My most important lesson? To realise that most of the time you don’t know why things happen and why people act the way they do – and that this is okay. So often we try to figure things out and want to explain them, to ourselves and others. But it keeps us away from being present in the NOW without judging – and therefore also from learning something new. In the beginning it can be scary to stop making stories that help you ‘understand’ and just let everything be. But the more you can accept you don’t know, the more freedom you feel to discover which lessons are really hidden in this moment you’re living right now.
Life is only winning! If it doesn’t feel good, we are learning. If it feels good it’s a hit or success. But to hit we have to go through the learning experiences because they make us stronger to prepare us for the new following success in life ! So relax and enjoy the rollercoaster of life ???????????? Say for every learning experience : “interesting ! What can I learn from this to make me stronger or better in life ?” Act on your hunches and just move on do your brightest future ever ????????
The only thing that is truly yours in this life is your attention and where you choose to focus it.
Everything else will change or disappear.
Problems don’t disappear when neglected. A perfect quote of Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
the changes in my live are changes in personal development. I devorced and it was then horrible, but now I can look back on the best decision I have made in my live. I started to grow and became who I am now. I am grateful for my life.
I thought life was about participation, action and doing something important that you can leave behind for the people that stay behind. Now I know it is not about me or anything I do. The most important lesson for me is getting and staying in touch with everyone and everything around me. Be touched and touch other people from heart to heart. Connect to other beings open and honest and with love. That is when magic happens for me.
Beautiful! Very inspiring. I like to feel connected too.
Don’t judge others, you don’t know who walks in the body of another.
You don’t know the lessons the other should or want learn. You don’t know what he or she experienced in life. You don’t know their goals or what they want to achieve. Even if they tell.
Just accept the other as equal and meet in love. And if you don’t judge, it is very easy to accept the other as he or she is. It is very easy to meet in love.
Love lives by giving.
The ego lives by getting.
There is always the choice between love and fear.
“Blijf genieten!” Enjoy every day!
Life is too short not to enjoy it. “Genieten” is for me that form of joy. It is not: start enjoy or go enjoy, no it is: Blijf genieten, to show that you already can! Nothing is broken and needs to be fixed to start enjoying. No hils or mountains to be climbed to start enjoying. No! Enjoying is now. Blijf genieten!
Your lesson is: life is. Mine is similar: I am. (The dot at the end is what it is all about for me. I am, regardless of all the things I think I should be). I don’t have to (im)prove my self (and I love to learn and grow every day). I don’t have to take any position or role, or live up to anyone’s expectations. I am.
I learned that we are on the highest level all one. What I do to an another I do to myself. All what is happening outside me is an reflection of what I once created, thought/felt. Everything reflects to me. I am the Creator. So I am responsible for whatever happens.
I am.
The biggest lesson i’ve learned was with the birth of my son. I’m a positive thinker and used to work with the attitude ‘when I think and live like I can accomplish everything, sometimes it needs hard work and I’m always able to do it ‘ The only limit is your brain. Well, it was a hard lesson. After 3 days of intense labour, I had to give up and deliver him with a c-section. Where they found out his head was not in the correct position to go trough the birth cannel. Can you imagine which doubts are going trough my head? Was I not able to release him, was I not positive enough etc. It learned me that sometimes I have to accept that there are things that I cannot influence anymore. And that physical limits exist.
That I have only one life to live. That I’m worthy every moment of it and have to comfort and love myself every moment of it.
(imagine a guy getting thrown of a horse, as a metaphore)
The lesson:
It’s not how many times you get thrown,
It’s how many times you get back on.
Life lessons, that will empower, inspire and motivate the readers to live a happy, healthy, wealthy and wise life…
Just started again by working on myself, attending yoga classes, aqua gym and pilates surf and lots of walking, trying to change my eating habits and drinking mostly water and herbal teas to try to diminish all those toxins gathered over the years. Feel better allready. More energy. Then I just decided that the trip I was postponing, visiting my best friend and het little boy in Ibiza, is too important to keep saying I cannot go because I’am too busy. I always will be too busy is I don’t stop and just book that flight. So I booked. Leaving next Sunday. Will try to use those days to be with my friend and her son but at least 1 hour a day to just sit down and think and four hours a day are scheduled to do priority work online, as I cannot just leave my business unattended. Next step is not only think about focussing but really start doing it. And by doing it some of the work will remain undone. I will have to accept that. Difficult. But taking small steps I hope to get there. Just “cleaned” my table of all the to do’s, and now taking one at a time. Feels already good to see a clean table. Hahaha. So I think that step by step I will manage to live an even happier, healthier, wealthier and wiser life……..
Recognize the assumptions you have and which may define your life. Listen closely to yourself (try mindfulness) and to others. Task questions. Learn and free yourself.
I learned that Life is a game. I can play it fully, by knowing I’m just an actor.I shouldn’t take my role, myself to seriously. I look at the different dramas that enfold from a distance. I can witness myself. the I, the witness is more real, wise stable and in tune with life than the small actor that wants me to think it is me.
So I can live in the world but not be from the world
Awaken and BE. And also finding and living my true self and give my gift of life to others.
That’s all it takes to become free. And it happend.
Nisandeh. Relax man. Wake up spiritually and stop pushing yourself with goals. Everything is already within you ????.
One of the most liberating lessons was the notion that forgiveness is not for the other but to heal yourself that the feeling of hatred or sorrow is not effecting the other but hurting and infecting your innerself. So forgiving another and forgiving yoyrself is the best healing and sets you free. You are in control.
Without having read the other Posts yet, I do want to share something about my life, my goals, my passions. Before 2015 I lived in ignorance of the possibilities to get more insight and more grip on my life. I never thought about future goals, just lived my life as it came. Just dealt with whatever came on my path. You thought me to reflect, to think and plan, to set goals and design my life. Controlling IT. Or trying hard to gain control. Now I Think it is not about. Controlling my life but it’s about living consciously. Am I in a position or situation I want to stay in or were I want to leave from? And after leaving , What’s my next situation or place or state ? Making conscious decisions gives a kind of feeling of control but is mostly living conscious and on purpose. That feels good. Not so much the control part but especially the insight part. From insight, I can make conscious decisions, do something and see what comes of IT. Life doesn’t happen to me anymore. And for that i’m deeply grateful ! Btw business is going much better and is much more fun too !!!
When I was in China I changed a lot. Actually re-changed a lot too the person I am and more. Sort of full potential kind of way… So I sort of recited this to myself:
So we’re starting a Spiritual trip home – not back to the unconscious begin, but furthered towards a new connection with our origin.
The Journey has just begun!
Dear Nisandeh,
The only thing for me is that all works within the flow of my heart. When I am not in the flow of my heart nothings works easy and I have to try harder and costs energy.
In the flow new things are coming effortlessly.
Often I see things coming and I know that things need to be done, but it only works from this flow.
I lived like it was the last day of my life. Running, being scared of time.
So, instead of that, I’m trying to change that now.
Live like it is your first day. Relax, there is a tomorrow.
I don’t know if you can call this a life lesson, because I learned this ‘trick’ in a training. But life certainly has shown me it works: Writing down my goals has proven to give results!
Big goals, like: Running my first marathon, 40% more revenue, becoming a vegetarian.
Also small goals: I had a picture on a moodboard many years ago, of a mother and daugther on horses riding together in nature. That dream has come true also.
One thing I learned that one could call a life lesson is how I deal with setbacks or painfull experiences. Calling it a ‘learning experience’ helps ease pain, feelings of shame or frustration.
It all come down to choosing happines over suffering 🙂
What I learned in a ten day meditation is living in the now. But sometimes anxiety blocks this. When you be in the now, just one moment observing only one thing at the time you manage that moment. Than you live the next moment and the next. Be still and calmness will come.
With love,
Jennifer
My life lesson? There is only one of me, so I have to stay healthy even with type 2 diabetes. Or should I say more so because I have type 2 diabetes. I only have one life. The knowledge I gathered living a life with diabetes type 2 I need to share with other people with type 2 diabetes. I did work as a management assistent, but no longer. My goal for live is now to share all I know on improving health with people with diabetes type 2.
Dear Cobi, you sound very motivated in improving your Health. It is my profession as a nurse and food and lifestyle coach to help people balance their bloodsugar. If you need any help, feel free to contact me!
It doesn’t matter what other people think.
Participation is key. Take action on things that you feel are important and participate with it. By talking over it, enhancing it, sharing it. It is the best way to get things moving. Like sharing this thought here.
When life is challenging you, don’t ask why, ask what can I learn from this, how can I use this to my advantage. For a better life, you have to ask better questions.
Life IS. Happiness IS. And like spiritual master Adi Da Samraj says: “You cannot become Happy, you can only BE Happy”.
I found it is of utmost importance on what you put your attention in life. Since there is the law “You become what you meditate on” we must make sure that we put our attention on Happiness, Love or Consciousness Itself, which is all the same thing.
The rest will follow from that (until there is nothing left).
BE Love and live awesome 😉
Yes!
Since I was very young I kept on answering people who use the automatic “Komt Goed” (All will be well) with “Alles IS goed!” (All IS well)
Nowadays this saying “Komt goed” seems to be the national mantra in Netherlands.
By keep on telling ourselves that everything will be alright In-The-Future, obviously that future will never truly arrive.
Of course: in a lot of situations there is possibility to make things better. But by focusing on that which is in this moment now, creates gratitude and peace.
Cherish your whole Life “The Little Me” inside.
Take Her/Him with you each single Day for the rest of your Life. Guide & respect the “Mini-Me”. Listen to “Mini-Me’s” voice and approach with marvel every occasion, situation. Only then you will Live the Life your are supposed to Live.
When I was traveling alone, in the highlands of Scotland, I sat in a bus next to an old Scottish man. He said to me ‘laughter is the best medicine there is!’ and after a few miles driving he told me a dirty joke and laughed for 5 minutes. Than he looked at me with shiny eyes and a big smile on his face and looked really 10 years younger…
Hi Nisandeh,
The most beautiful lesson I have learned in this life that after looking 50 years on the outside for Happiness, health, love, joy, peace, safety, gratitude…..I found it on the inside, a cup running over with love for myself and when I started giving it away to those I love, it started in multiplied amounts coming back. And remember, you were the person who made the most important change in my life. Wendy
My life lesson is: we are all here for a reason and we are the way we are for a reason. So with what we have and are, we can then work on bringing this very specific, individual quality or ability that we have into the world. If we really try to achieve that, it provides a great satisfaction that makes us happy. No need to compare ourselves with others, because they are not “us”. No need to envy others, since everyone has something to learn or work on, or obstacles to overcome. Lots of need to foster this specific “quality” that each of us has.
In the end I think everything is about Love. Whatever you do, do it with love. Even the things you don’t like, do approach it with love and as Joseph Campbell said ‘doors will open where you never expected them to be’.
I totally agree with you: the one and only most important thing in life is Love. Give love and you will be loved. Do everything with love and you will be honored in what you get back.
A couple of years ago I realized that I lived in the future. All goals, desires and plans that lead to the delusion of happiness, in my thoughts then, made me sick. It leads to depression because wanting reaching these goals are coming from ego desires. The satisfaction is very short when you get there. During a speaking training I got the insights about the difference of living steered by ego and true self. So by writing a book about these insights my life changed. The writing process made it clear how this mechanism works. Live life today, be self, use ego properly to avoid harm of your body. There’s nothing more than now, be in now, enjoy. Namaste.
If you realize the illusions of the words that life is either happiness or suffering, than LIFE IS and the opportunities are endless. Than you can just BE and embrace what comes to you. If you go beyond words and all the conditions we have got there is love and our true nature. It is endless.
Have fun writing your book ????
If you don’t feel where you are right now, you’re going nowhere, because you are missing another important point in your life.
don’t allow stress where you can’t influence it
Reality does not exist and we’ve got too many perceptions of reality.
My life lesson is that I am responsible for my happiness, no one else. I cannot expect someone else to make me happy. Also, they do not have the power to make me unhappy . It is al within me. I choose to be happy or not.
All we need is life with LOVE, give love and receive love it’s all the same!