Darling, what if you fly?
What if I fall? Oh but my darling, what if you fly…
I turned 40, last week. One of these memorable age shifts, a big thing. It often scares people, to move to another decade.
I wasn’t looking forward to it either, to turn 40. Not sure why, so I decided to research my feelings about it a bit. Why was I afraid of turning 40?
As soon as I asked the question, I knew the answer. It was so obvious.
I was scared of not being young anymore. It’s only a day difference, 39 and 40. But at 39, I am young, I am allowed to make beginner’s mistakes, I still feel like a high potential. And I was scared that all of it would suddenly disappear.
All fear is irrational. And we all are afraid of something. The point is that we are usually unconscious of the fact that we’re scared, and that this fear is holding us back.
The good thing is, that this is exactly why it’s easy to become aware of your fear.
You are at point A. You want to go to point B. You want to start your own business, get your motor driver’s license, move to a foreign country, run a marathon, leave your partner or tell someone you love him.
When you really want something, and you don’t do it, then you are blocked by fear, one way or another. You are simply scared.
Fear is anticipated pain, lack of knowledge or uncertainty about possible danger.
It’s hardly ever physical, we don’t fight lions anymore those days… it’s almost always emotional.
It’s you being in one place, and your dream life being in another place, and you don’t move a toe to get there.
Take a piece of paper and write it down for yourself… the things I fear most that are preventing me from achieving my Dream Life are
If you take a look, you’ll see that all your answers can be changed into a negative “what if…” statement.
- “What if- I can’t pay my mortgage anymore”
- “What if – I get hit by a car and die”
- “What if – I get homesick in a foreign country”
- “What if- my kids will hate me after I leave my partner”
- “What if – he thinks I’m stupid, he’ll run away and I’ll lose him”
These fears are all there, and they are VERY real. Don’t be ashamed that you have them, it’s a very common human reaction.
Now- already the fact that you just became conscious of your fear, might make it look less impossible already, doesn’t it?
But here’s the trick to change your point of view completely.
Just change your negative statement into a positive one.
- “What if- I can work on my passion every day and make enough money to live from”
- “What if – I become much more careful and experience the freedom that I long
for forso long”
- “What if – I find my home in that foreign country and we all love it there”
- “What if – the relationship with my children becomes warmer and more close than it ever was”
- “What if – he loves me back”
How does this feel? Does it make you smile? Because it should.
This is exactly the exercise I did with my fear of turning 40.
Instead of thinking “What if I turn 40 and I’m suddenly OLD
I can assure you… I had a big smile on my face. Turning 40 changed from being scary into being something very exciting!
Is there anything you really want to do, say, change… and you feel that something’s holding you back? Write down your negative “what if” statement, and below it your positive one… and inspire us all.
Live fully and be awesome…